Thursday, January 14, 2010


My strategy for dealing with Diana the following day at work was simple ... and immature and stupid, as I planned on avoiding her at work and acting as if nothing memorable happened between the two of us the night before.

She'd have to come to me if we were going to talk, I defiantly told myself.

I so desperately wanted to maintain the illusion I wasn’t really interested or bothered by anything she said or did.

I didn’t want her to know just how much I really cared for her or how afraid I was of getting hurt by her.

If I would’ve stormed my way into work that day and immediately sought her out as I so desperately wanted too, I would have come across as nothing more than a pathetic, love sick teenager ... which I was.

Besides, if I had gotten to clingy or told her how I really felt about her, she might’ve been inclined to stay away from me and I definitely didn’t want that to happen.

So with my battle strategy intact and after I finally arrived at work all psyched up and determined to work my idiotic and machismo-like plan, though at the same time terrified at the prospect of ignoring my dream girl, I casually strolled into the chaotic midday hustle and bustle of the restaurant like I didn’t have a care in the world even though the entire time I was looking for Diana out of the corners of my eyes.

Fortunately, she didn’t take my initial cold shoulder treatment personally as I would have done.

Diana, acting and being more of an adult than I, apologized for falling asleep and said she was just tired from working long hours and it was nothing personal.

She then went on to ask me if I wanted to come over again to which I enthusiastically said yes even before she could finish asking her question.

She had no idea, or at least I don’t think she did, of how badly I needed and wanted her to ask me over again and how there was no other person in the world I wanted to be with more than her.

But unlike the first exhilarating time I was invited to Diana’s hotel room, there would be no running off to my buddy’s house this time around after work as I immediately drove home so I could re-groom myself like there was no tomorrow.

My sole focus and train of thought was on trying to impress Diana later in the night.

I even successfully shaved with a hand razor for one of the few times in my life and splashed on some ancient and unused generic cologne I received for Christmas ... many, many years ago.

To top off my appearance, I put on my brand new jean shorts, one of my hippy-looking silk shirts, and my leopard spotted underwear … just in case.

On my way to Diana’s hotel room that night, almost as if it were part of a dream, I prepared ruthlessly for what I hoped would be my first real kiss with a woman, yet alone a beautiful woman later in the night, by stuffing my mouth with an assortment of minty flavored chewing gum and breath mints.

I could definitely feel the difference in my overall attitude and confidence as I pulled into the hotel parking lot for the second time in as many days.

The only thing I was really worried about, as I rode the elevator up to the second floor of the hotel, was how Diana would view my designer clothing.

Ordinarily I wouldn’t have been caught dead wearing what I was wearing, but the sales lady at the department store convinced me of my clothing’s ability to appease the eyes of the opposite sex.

So with my newfound wardrobe and confidence intact and feeling good about what the night had in store for me, at least compared to the previous night, I exited the elevator with a spring to my step only to feel the thin layer of hope I possessed quickly turn into a hurricane of despair the instant I saw Diana and three other individuals walking straight towards me.

There was Diana, her roommate Randy, and two guys I had seen at work but never met before.

When our paths awkwardly collided in the hallway, Diana casually asked me if wanted to go to the store with them and since I didn’t have much of a choice considering she was already on her way out, I promptly responded with an over enthusiastic yes.

What else could I have said under the circumstances?

Call me oversensitive, call me whatever, but it stung when I saw Diana attempting to flee the hotel knowing full well I was coming over.

Didn’t she care or even consider the possibility of my arrival when she was gone?

Though I guess it really didn’t matter as she could have said or done anything to me and I wouldn’t have held it against her, I was head over heels in love with her.

So much so, if the devil himself would’ve promised me ( In exchange for my eternal soul ) Diana would get to spend the remaining days of her life in total bliss all the while in the arms of another man, I would’ve gladly agreed to it, no questions asked.

I would've walked to the ends of the earth until my dying day, if only for the chance to look upon her one last time.

There was just something about her I didn’t want to live without.

She was just that special ...

... ... ...

More than she'll ever know.

So with everybody crammed inside a newer and reddish compact car, off we sped into the dark summer night going God knows where to do God knows what.

To make matters worse, we were being driven rather hastily and dangerously by the more rotund and acne riddled of the two other guys in the group while the other guy sat shotgun trying to act like a hard ass.

Diana, Randy, and I, thank God, sat scrunched together in the backseat of the car while practically sitting on each other’s laps, much in the same way a group of hamsters nestle in the corner of a ten gallon aquarium, while violently swaying back and forth inside the intoxicated vehicle.

You’d think sitting so tightly next to Diana would have been a dream come true for me ... and it was … sort of.

On a positive note, I could feel the smooth and massaging softness of her beautiful left leg rubbing up against mine but on a negative note, she could feel the dense furriness of my hairy right leg brushing against hers.

As much as I wanted Diana’s leg to touch mine, I tried in vain to keep them apart ... for her sake of course.

Diana probably felt like she was sitting next to a descendant of Big Foot or the missing link between humans and chimps.

Of all the genetic traits my family, more specifically my father, had to pass on to me this had to be one of them.

My gorilla-like hairiness might’ve just cost me an opportunity to kiss her later in the night and in hindsight, I should’ve known better than to wear shorts instead of pants especially when in the captivating presence of such a beautiful and alluring young woman.

During our short ride to a then unknown store destination, Diana asked one of the guys in front if he could play one of her cassette tapes and to play a certain song on it.

I wasn’t a big music guy at the time so I hadn’t the faintest idea who the group was or what the name of the song was called.

All I knew was I had never heard it before and Diana and I probably had different tastes in music.

Eerily the lyrics of the song described me and the current situation I found myself in, almost to perfection.

 For example,
“You’re so very special ... I wish I was special ... but I’m a creep … I’m a weirdo … what the hell I’m doing here … I don’t belong here … I don’t belong here.”

Years later I found out the name of the song was called Creep by a band named Radio Head.

As much as liked sitting next to Diana in the car, I thought I was destined to be stuck the entire night riding around with three other people I didn’t want to be with.

Thankfully, all we did was stop at a convenient store to buy some overpriced munchies and beverages.

Let it be known I was a complete gentleman, or fool depending on how you look at it, and insisted on paying for Diana’s purchases to which she kindly obliged.

When we finally arrived back at the hotel parking lot, none the worse for the wear, the two guys who had been with us immediately took off and disappeared into the hotel which seemed like a rather strange and odd farewell but couldn’t have made me happier since the less testosterone and competition around the better.

The only thing I was really worried about on the way back to Diana’s hotel room that night was the bright lighting inside the hotel.

I could just picture the horror on Diana’s face if she saw the savage hairiness of my legs under the unforgiving microscope of fluorescent lighting.

I made sure I stayed well behind her and out of her immediate sight the entire time we walked from the hotel parking lot to the inside of her hotel room.

Not until my hairy legs were safely hidden inside the darkness of her room did I start to feel somewhat comfortable again.

Once inside Diana’s chilly hotel room, I promptly took a seat on the only chair in the room, once again, while Diana and Randy eagerly plopped down on their respective beds to enjoy their meals and for about the next fifteen minutes or so, everyone stayed exactly where they were at while awkwardly eating, drinking, and watching television without ever saying a word to each other.

I was so shy and paranoid about my naked, hairy legs after they were harshly exposed by the glaring light of the television set, I never initiated any conversation between Diana and me.

I just sat there like the moron I was, imitating a giant piece of deadwood as I sat there motionless and expressionless, never making a sound while eerily staring at the television set in a mummy-like trance.

Then just like a hypnotist snapping her fingers at a highly impressionable patient, I was immediately brought back to life the instant Diana asked me to come sit with her on her bed ... which I never saw coming.

She used her small and seductive, petite right hand to lightly pat the area of the bed where she wanted me to sit.

I could have easily fainted or thrown up right then and there if not for the fact I was too busy trying not to shake and giggle with virgin-like excitement as I slithered my way onto her cozy looking bed.

I didn’t know what the heck was happening inside me once I nervously joined her on her bed, inches within touching her in all her splendid beauty.

I was nervous, excited, scared, terrified, and in love all at the same time and within minutes after pretending I was watching television with Diana, on top of her bed, she turned to me and said,

“Feel this,” as she reached up with her left hand to lift and pull some of her beautiful, thick, dark brown hair away from her, while using her right hand to pinpoint a knot in her hair.

“Can you see it?” she asked.

 “It’s huge!”

“No,” I innocently proclaimed as I ever so slightly shook my head while staring at her hair in complete bewilderment.

Diana, seemingly fed up with my temporary blindness or lack of honesty, quickly picked up my complacent left hand and placed it on the very spot she wanted me to see.

This was awesome I thought as I touched her beautiful soft hair even if it was just a clump as she liked to refer to it.

Maybe I would even get to kiss her I anticipated while trying to hide my rapid "excitement" with my quivering right hand.

At least my left hand was no longer a virgin I devilishly thought to myself ... seeing as it finally touched a woman and all.

A short while later and just minutes after losing the virginity of my left hand, in a dorky sort of way I know, I continued to act like I was interested in watching television while Diana unexpectedly retrieved a pillow for me before flipping over on her stomach and channel surfing.

I quickly took her lead and lied on my stomach to watch some more television and as I did so, I noticed Randy had fallen asleep.

Diana and I continued to lie on our stomachs for about fifteen minutes in complete silence while watching a television show called Three’s Company before Diana suddenly and without warning turned the television off.

With nothing to distract us, Diana quickly pushed herself up from her stomach and lied on the right side of her body with her feet facing the television set as I anxiously followed her lead and lied on the left side of my body.

It was hard to believe what was happening to me as I lied in complete darkness right next to the woman of my dreams and on her bed to top it off with our heads resting on our individual pillows only inches apart.

I was so unsure of how to act and what to do next I asked her what she was thinking.

“Nothing,” she calmly whispered in my direction.

“What are you thinking?” she asked me in return.

“Nothing,” I whispered back at her.

I could tell conversation wasn’t going to be on the menu for the rest of the night.

For about fifteen minutes or so, Diana and I lied motionless on her bed staring directly into each other’s eyes without ever saying a word to each other.

They were the most beautiful and precious fifteen minutes of my life and minutes I wouldn’t have traded for all the money in the world ... and still wouldn’t!

It was the single most romantic and memorable moment of my life and something I’ll always remember and be grateful for.

To be continued ...


  1. finish this story......

  2. I read the whole thing and "to be continued..."
    You monster.

  3. WOW! It's so way past my bedtime but THIS story had me captivated. As I read, i could picture everything bcause your words are so vivid and descriptive. I felt like I was there! You can write, Paul. Use your talent!
    Have you tried to find Diana on FB or Myspace...??? I hope she reads this and finds you. I hope she has been pining for you all these years as well and wants to hook up. THAT would really be awesome. Look for her!!!!!!!!!

  4. seriously... you should finish the story :) I was reading this and so enthralled, then it just stopped :( Very well written though; I agree with Mys- I felt like I was there. Incredible!

  5. My question is why are you wasting time writing all of this here when you should be writing the book, or maybe you are ?!

  6. Prediction: Diana is married or in a relationship. Our hero and Diana are about to get it on when the afforementioned "other guy" shows up and all hell breaks loose.

    All apologies if I've spoiled the rest of the story. Hopefully, I'm wrong...

  7. Great story so far...but highly disappointed that I got a To Be Continued message. Vivid storytelling. I'm sure this reminds almost all of us of our younger days and awkward teen relationships...appreciate you sharing your experience.

  8. I hope you finish your story. I need to know what happens!

  9. Dude! You left us hanging!

  10. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Finish this story please. MEOW!!!!

  11. This story isn't creepy. I think he was a little (a lot) self-conscious back then and possibly now, but think back to when you were 19! Didn't you ever have a crush on someone so badly that you were completely and utterly in love with them? I still remember the crush I had when I was 19 on someone I worked with! Thick dark hair and beautiful black/brown eyes...

    Come on, have a little heart and offer the guy some words of encouragement. Don't shoot him down because he's using a different approach than most people. He's just looking for a companion.

    It's easy to judge people when they do something like this that is so out in the open; so public. Would you ever put yourself out here like this for the entire world to see?

    I hope he finds the woman of his dreams and lives happily ever after.

  12. TO BE CONTINUED??? Finish the story!!!

    Ps How rude are some of these people?? Im sure we have all been in similar situations when we were younger. I know I was.

    Hanging out for the rest of the story :)

  13. Honestly, you need to be real with yourself. if you're trying to find a girlfriend / wife there is no way that you're going to do that while you still feel that way about Diana. There are simple reasons for that. The girl you're with will know that every time you look at her, you'll be comparing her beauty, her personality, her actions, and every other thing to Diana and she'll feel that she can't live up to your expectations. Also she'll know that no matter how much you say you love her, there will always be a part of your heart that will be labeled as Diana's property. And the worst thing is that she'll never be number one in your eyes and in your heart.

    No girl wants to know that, so if some girl accidentally falls in love with you i feel sorry for her because you will never be able to love her back completely until you get over Diana. But if you would rather keep the love and memories you have of Diana then you can marry a dream. Just don't bring down a girl with you while you do it.

  14. Dude,...relish singlehood,..I've been in the same boat,There's two things women look for..looks(age 25 and under..)a wallet with legs (30, and over..)What you should do , is spend the time developing yourself...and on hobbies and interests.spend time with your friends.Be thankful you don't have to spend boat loads of money and time on someone who will almost never be satisfied,or appreciate you "for who you are"..Take a look at most married people around....notice how most guys have to bust their hump, keeping their cupcake in a fancy car (every three years)....big house....etc...all the while busting his butt at job he probably don't like..long drive.....and so on......sometimes you have to think negatively to really appreciate how good you might have things..A little bonus of this way of thinking is that when you do encounter a woman who carries herself in this manner, you really are going to appreciate her and enjoy her...

  15. it just ended! i need more!!!